Monday, August 2, 2010


A few months ago, while working with a 14-year old client of mine, I was told by said client that I look like girlboy Justin Bieber. Fighting the urge to throw him out of my car, I calmed myself. In so far as I am also white, have straight brown hair, and can woo ladies with my dulcet tones, yes, I look like Justin Bieber. But the similarities stop there. And for that, I am thankful. Here's something I'm not thankful for: Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever. My Story. That's the title of the soon-to-be-released shitfest that will be his illustrated memoirs.

Fuck me. Let me start by saying that this kid is completely effed once his face explodes and his voice cracks. I'll continue by saying that the trash that comes out of his mouth is one of few things that can truly capture everything wrong in music today (I won't tell you who or what to like when it comes to music...but I will say that I'd rather have typhoid fever than Bieber Fever). Can we also talk about his style? Is R&B compliant with the skater punk aesthetic? Seems incongruous to me. Maybe he's just a trendsetter, but god I hope not. And when was the last time you saw someone who wasn't Fred Durst wear a backwards hat? When was the last time you even heard anything about Fred Durst? This kid literally had 4 (FOUR!) singles off his first album hit the Billboard Top 40. Meanwhile, there is no longer a decent oldies station in Washington, DC. What the hell is going on? Thankfully, karma has caught up with him at least once. Thanks for ruining my day, HarperCollins.